For my Motherland

Qudsia Kadri
14-08-07

This column is dedicated to my motherland____ the only one I posses and can call "my very own". Like millions of others I opened my eyes in a land called Pakistan. A country which was to be a land of the pure, the pious, the honest, the committed and the peaceful. Growing up in a country which most of us loved and were proud of was a pleasant experience of learning in the seventies. We would listen with avid enthusiasm to the tales of Independence and partition. Our parents and grandparents all had vivid memories of incidents and pre-partition stories, of love and sacrifice, of valor and wisdom, of courage and integrity.
We lived within our means and actually believed that the tooth fairy leaving a five-rupee note under our pillow actually existed. We would run with empty buckets after a rainfall to fill it up with the hues of colors in the rainbow. We believed in the goodness of people, in running out to help our neighbors in distress in the middle of the night.
We saw our mother's never complaining, our fathers never bringing their official worries home. We were told that if their were any private errands or parties to attend, the official car and driver could not be used. We did not drink out of mineral water bottles or be allowed to watch the only T.V channel, after the certain time period allocated to us. We never worried about losing or breaking a mobile phone______ time was in our control and we used it well. We studied the Quran everyday and did not fear our maulvi sahib.
Than dear homeland something happened, something terrible went wrong. As we stepped into collage life we could feel the change, the attitude, the lifestyles of many started getting anxious, worrisome and problematic. No longer did our parents speak in front of us, infact they would clamp up if children were around. No longer were we allowed out on the streets after sunset, we were warned not to throw the cricket ball into the loud and strange looking neighbor's yard. We were told not to accept a lift or ride even from people we knew. We were told to restrain our speech and movement in collage and not get involved in any disputes.
Street crimes started increasing, cars and motorbikes were stolen on a daily basis kidnappings, killings, dacoties soon became an everyday nightmare. Prices of daily necessities started rising, jobs were difficult to come-by, those advertised, received a response in the hundred's for any job opening. But now you had to know the right people, the right contacts to pull strings for you. To do "safarish". It was of no consequence, if you had a masters degree in your hand. It did not matter if you were brilliant and capable, you had to have your connections right!
Unemployment started rising, since jobs were not merit-based they was an influx of uneducated, unskilled and unprofessional work-force in every organization.
Financial institution and Banks became money making machines at the cost of the public money and investors. Judiciary lost sight of its responsibilities it became a puppet at the hands of the rulings governments. Might is right became the norm of the day.
Unscrupulous and dishonest politicians, bureaucrats, parliamentarians, private sector heads of organizations, and the heads of the state all got involved in mismanagement and misappropriation. Our noble armed forces, the protectors and upholders of your integrity dear homeland, were lost somewhere in between the sixty-year bumpy and tedious ride.
They forgot the valor of their organization and indulged in the power struggle of the civilian set-ups. The so-called politicians continued to mud-sling each other with venomous intensity. They rapped and crushed each other's toes in order to outsmart each another.
The media, too unfortunately dwindled somewhere along the way and many of us misused and went beyond the territory of our moral and ethical norms.
Dear homeland, the feudal remained as obtrusive as ever, flexing their muscles to further alienate their "slaves" and workers. They continued with their tribal laws and blatantly walked over the farmer's, the peasants and the daily-wage earners.
Dear homeland, we forgot that we had lost a reasonable chunk of land belonging to you, some thirty odd years ago. We betrayed you and instead of protecting your solidarity, we sliced you up in portions. And the tragic part is that we have yet to learn our lesson as we continue to alienate sections of your remaining land. We continue to loot, plunder, rape and destroy your sanctity and your dignity. Today, dear homeland, Pakistan is looked down upon globally as a country which can be belittled, and branded off as a terrorist state. Today, your clergy have created havoc and misconceptions in the name of Islam. They have like the others, stooped to politicizing religion and alienating themselves from the rest of the populace. They have expounded horrific theories of killings and mass bombings to spread terror and hatred and denounce your name dear homeland.
All we can do today on your 60 years of independence is look downwards shamefacedly and apologize profusely. We know it is unacceptable behavior on our part, but as we step into the sixty first year of our existence, maybe we can hope to see light, to rectify if not all some of our wrong-doings. Maybe we can plug the numerous holes we have punched into the land, maybe we can create, give birth too, build and erect for you dear homeland. We have to remake the structures and buildings again, to hold firm your integrity and solidarity as our top most agenda.
As we struggle to find life outside ourselves, we are unaware that the life we are seeking is within us.